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Lovesafe

by last kid alive

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1.
I Dare You 03:22
you’ve got a gun to my head why won’t you call it like it is a safe bet, a safe bet i know you’re scared to let love in why won’t you talk about it lay low, stay home i’ll spill like my own blood does i borrow when i’m meant to be around between the cowardice & the failure to accomplish i can’t help but to put myself down maybe there’s no use in saving but i’m calling it so play your hand taking shelter in imaginary homes sick of doing this on my own lately i’ve been tired of this waiting so i’m calling it to take this chance so dare me, i dare you, i dare you you think the telling the truth is easy saying sorry is believe it or not if love is a war then, i’m winning it all give it my best shot if you are misery and i am the consequence i’ve always been a second thought you think the telling the truth is easy saying sorry is believe it or not
2.
Play Pretend 02:34
you forget i wasn’t built for this you see my eyes? do you feel the regret? but can you close yours for a second? can you pretend that we’re in love? can you feel the war under my skin? & that i’m ready to give up? but don’t you wanna fall asleep and kiss me goodnight (say goodbye to everything you wanted) it’s a war that we’ve already lost there’s no use to this fight (i’m the house & you’re the ghost that haunts it) cause your body’s the bullet but i was the gun no i can’t pull this trigger no i’m never the one so now i’m losing out on sleep please turn out the lights for the first time, can we finish what we started? cut to the teeth, to the chase can you try to put yourself in my place between the malice in your veins & your hold i can’t shake i’m just damage control when your heart breaks but no one will love you like me have me living in my head with a feeling i can’t trace your disappointment needs work but i’ll never say i know you’ll never love me you forget i tried to call it quits you see my eyes in midst of consequence but can you close yours for a second? can you pretend we’re in love? can you feel the war under my skin & that i’m ready to give up?
3.
i say sorry too much, you’re not sorry enough i know i’m losing touch, but who are you to judge now there’s an empty space where only you fit in a better world it worked out, but this one isn’t it for almost the past year & a half we’ve been tragedy of unknown number of acts & when you wanted me to come back i never thought you’d be the one to ask but i would spill my blood for you like that would ever change the truth i’m a ghost with a past that haunts me and a future that will cease to exist but i don’t know what else to do punching walls for answers, i’m out of clues heaven’s tired of my false guarantee cause all i do is cut lies into my wrist i hurt too much of the time, you say that you’re doing fine we fall in love with our lies, so no one will see us cry now there’s an empty space where only you fit in a better world it worked out, but this one isn’t it for almost the past year & a half we’ve been fatalities hidden in shaky hands & when you tried too hard to understand remember i’m a lost cause just leave it at that but i would spill my blood for you like that would ever change the truth i’m a ghost with a past that haunts me and a future that will cease to exist but i don’t know what else to do punching walls for answers, i’m out of clues heaven’s tired of my false guarantee cause all i do is cut lies into my wrist my violence is disguised with patience your curiosity is disguised as care you’ll just play pretend in each conversation cause when i ask you to change, you’d never dare i’m sick & tired of always being the one to clean after your mess i’m sick & tired of who you’ve become i don’t feel your regret, so speak less, so speak less
4.
Come Home 02:35
do you know what i’d do to come back home right now do you even know i’m missing when i’m not around you don’t have to touch me to hurt me, you only need to speak you don’t have to pull any teeth, just make a scene with your hands around my throat and my foolishness to second guess this wasn’t all a joke i swallow regret and stomach the process forget my name, forget my face leave the flowers for my grave i roll for luck to keep me safe kiss my knuckles & live by the blade oh no the secret’s out, can’t trust you now we’re falling out, you gonna take me down strike me, strike me anywhere pick me apart, leave my bones bare strike me, strike me anywhere you want a boy who bleeds but i don’t care fading memories & permanent mistakes you can have the last word but i’ll be the one to say i can read your mind, right or not you’ve got my attention but that’s all you’ve got that’s all you’ve got all you’ve got with your hands around my throat and my foolishness to second guess this wasn’t all a joke i swallow regret and stomach the process forget my name, forget my face leave the flowers for my grave i roll for luck to keep me safe kiss my knuckles & live by the blade oh no the secret’s out, can’t trust you now we’re falling out, you gonna take me down
5.
so if this is what it means to be happy then i’ll leave & trade for miserable I think I’m better off by myself no need to be followed by my troubles red splattered with ink on your shoes calling on angels to bring me back to you breaking my own heart all over again i see you in my dreams but it’s not enough then if you hold onto these parts of me maybe it won’t hurt as much as it does you’re the only one who can watch me bleed after all this is an exercise of trust you’ve got your lipstick covered cigarette with me brushed up against your breath you’ve fallen in love with this apocalypse we disintegrate in this final kiss we flicker & fade, we whisper & wait we react with shame, all in the name of love i was never meant to be the one to save you but i promise to never hide you from the truth if you hold onto these parts of me maybe it won’t hurt as much as it does you’re the only one who can watch me bleed after all this is an exercise of trust
6.
you know she’s the girl of his dreams but i’m the boy he kills in his sleep is this how it’s gotta be? so sick of everything call me quick for closure then i’m gone you don’t miss me anymore you’ve moved on tell me you’re in love but love is a liar tell me the gig is up because aren’t you tired? stare at you like an open wound can’t look at you like i used to you know this razor on my tongue confusing silence with the taste of blood i think i’ve had enough tired of waking up with my name from your skin up till bone you think love can replace a broken home tell me you’re in love but love is a liar tell me the gig is up because aren’t you tired? stare at you like an open wound can’t look at you like i used to woke up to the feeling that you loved me then i remembered it was just a bad dream i am just the sorry one i am just the one you had to put down to keep yourself out of harm you’re praying to the sun to make sure i stop coming around

about

xavier’s special thanks:
Sarchasm, Grumpster, Eliot Faine, Charlie Varela, Mols Smurthwaite, Sulli Hargrove, Maddelyn Rhyan, The Breakdown Kids, the Dungeons & Dragons & Disciples of Warwick, Henri Leuterio, Jamie Hau Riege, Antheia Pham, Quinn Torres, Cara Ingram, Grey Rogers, Elliott Tate, Micah Gallagher, Keilah McKeown-Pool & everyone else in my life that I don't have enough space to name here. Extra special shoutout to poet Richard Siken, 924 Gilman Street & its volunteers.

ren’s special thanks: Not Mallory Embrey, my cat: Frankie Amara Minou, Mols Smurthwaite, Keilah McKeown-Pool, kenzie <3, concerta, marijuana, whoops

credits

released April 8, 2022

rhythm guitar/vocals: xavier ramos
lead guitar: jason bustria
bass: ren coulthard
drums: amy schmalkuche
additional vocals/screams: mateo campos

recorded and mixed by mateo campos
mastering: azimuth mastering

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last kid alive Oakland, California

east bay post-hxc | unreality lives where we build it a home

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